Potty Training Anxiety turns into Long Nights

Potty Training can be a serious cause of sleep disruption. Your toddler is just beginning to recognize the feeling of having to go and that can not only be a strange feeling for them physically, but it also causes some anxiety. They want so badly to please you and be a "big kid" and those thoughts can actually be why there is loss of sleep rather than the need to pee. 

 If you have found that your toddler is doing great with training during the day but seems to be apprehensive around bedtime it is fine to allow the use of pullups until the anxiety passes. You may find that when you eliminate that demand to use the potty during the overnight hours your little one begins to have a much more relaxed night. Even those who are capable of keeping dry pants throughout the night may not be ready mentally for the responsibility. There are so many changes taking place at that age. Maybe they are just getting used to a new room or a new bed. Maybe they have a new sibling or are starting a new school. With all of the changes every day that they are seeing, their sleep space and alone time each night should be a time of solace and relaxation, so just have patience and try not to rush them to grow up all at once.

Where are all the photos of Me?

When it was time for me to have some photos attached to my website and Facebook page, a face to go with the name of my business, I realized that there were are no pictures of me around. I don't think it is too unusual for a mom to say that they don't love having their picture taken, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's just that I am usually the one around when my kids are doing photo worthy stuff so therefore I am the one behind the camera. Maybe as the mom we are always the ones to organize the photo as well as the one to take it. I don't exactly know the reason, but what I do know is that I felt proud the other day when I had my head-shots taken. I was proud to have my kids see me get the attention, and proud to post my face next to the name Jessica Gleason Infant Sleep Consultant. I am proud of all the work I do for my family within our home and proud of the work I do for other families in their homes.
Sure, the years have taken a toll on my figure and there are a couple of new lines and wrinkles here and there but I am actually more proud of the person I see in these images today then I ever have been before.

-So many thanks to Photography by Caitlin Domanico, LLC-

New School Year..New routines

It's time to get started with some new routines as the school year begins. Whether you have toddlers starting preschool or newbies (young infants) who will be tagging along as their older siblings get ready for the big day..everyone needs to have a plan.

 The new routines should start the night before at bedtime. Start to include new aspects into the bedtime routine such as discussing the next morning and what you will expect of your child. They should know that when their alarm goes off or when you come into the room that means it's time to wake up and begin to prepare for leaving the house. Many kids have trouble with getting up in the AM. A few ways to help young children rise and shine is to have a favorite song you can sing when you go into the room or pretend to be a funny character. Kids will respond best to a happy and energetic wake up call. Singing and laughing as you go to open the shades will help the kids to start the day in a positive space and that frame of mind will stay with them throughout the day.
Help the kids to get excited for school by giving them a few choices for their outfit the next day. It should all be laid out, from top to bottom, including socks, shoes and hair accessories. This way in the morning you can say "time to get up and put on the clothes you picked out!!" Choices help the kids to feel involved and not so overwhelmed by all the changes. Even toddlers love to feel that they helped get ready for the day.
 As the morning routine moves out of the sleep space you  will want to have an idea of what everyone will be having for breakfast as well as a designated spot for the kids backpacks, shoes and jackets.
With each of these aspects of the morning planned ahead of time it will greatly decrease everyone's stress.

A Rainbow of Choices

Has anyone ever wondered if the color you chose for your baby's room has had an effect on their sleep?? I have heard many stories of people struggling for months choosing the colors of the nursery to ensure a good sleeper, only to find out their little one is a night owl. However, I also know families who swear that the coziness of the orange walls or calming effects of the green bedding was the key to overnight bliss. So I wonder how many moms and dads-to-be struggled with their little one's room decor? And with all the colors in the rainbow to choose from were you swayed by the possibility of more sleep?

Video Monitor Obsession

I know that the purpose of the video monitors is to provide a sense of security and reassurance that baby is safely settled, however, lately I have noticed that my clients are actually spending countless minutes staring at the small screen analyzing every twitch or lack thereof. I have seen a number of parents actually feel the need to go into the baby's room and intervene because they feel that baby is too still, or too close to the side. Many moms and dads also go running in if they see a pacifier flying across the screen or baby's best friend laying lonely on the floor. This is all just part of your little one's own routine. They develop rituals in their sleep space that help them to drift off and often your intervention can disrupt that routine.

Running into the room once or twice is okay but every night that nightly visit to replace a pacifier or roll baby back over will quickly turn into a habit and baby will learn that blankey on the floor means moms comes running. This simply pushes their bedtime later and later. Babies understand alot more than we give them credit so this is why I recommend a quick check on the monitor to be sure baby is safe and then set it aside and allow baby to settle and go through their own little bedtime routine.

Toddler Jealousy during Breastfeeding?

Time after time when I visit families with both a newborn/ infant and a toddler it is a constant battle for mom to make her older child feel included while breastfeeding. Toddlers often feel jealousy or loneliness when mom is so closely snuggled with the newbie and it is hard for them to understand that this is the way baby eats, it is not mom choosing one over the other. This closeness is also very difficult to mimic. No matter how many hugs your toddler gets somehow it just doesn’t seem the same as when you are feeding the new sibling. There are a couple of great ways to make feeding time enjoyable for everyone. It does not have to be 30 minutes of telling your toddler ”no,no,no!” as she tries to get your attention.

The important thing is to make it a special time for toddler too. Toddlers love to help and this situation really does not have to be any different. Allow her to choose where you feed baby. Give her a couple of options, on the couch or in the nursery, Should we play music or read a book? Maybe feeding times are when practice her big girl letters or her numbers using flash cards. And these items, such as flashcards can be in the special “mommy & me box.” This box can only be opened when it is time for baby to eat and you choose a special activity out of it. A particular book or coloring pages, even a book of songs that you sing can be great. The box can be restocked every week so each activity gets rotated in and out. These activities and items will create a positive association with nursing time and it will be enjoyable for all of you. The jealousy will dissipate and soon your toddler will be coloring pictures of all three of you snuggling together.

So Much Energy?!?!

It is really hard to understand why your baby, who has been up for 12 hrs, missed a nap and spent the day running around, does not want to sleep, but instead is acting like they just drank a 5 hr Energy. This is when you have missed your baby's "window" for a restful sleep. Now he has hit his second wind, which consists of extreme crankiness, hyperactivity, and he will be more difficult to console. Babies who are overtired do not settle easily and surprisingly that night baby will not make for those extra hour he lost. It is actually more likely that he will sleep LESS  next day or two until he completely back on schedule.
The best way to help your baby get back on schedule as quickly as possible is when they wake up the next morning keep the wakeful period very short before the first nap. You may notice eye rubbing or yawning as soon as 45 mins after wake up and you should take that as a cue to start getting baby ready to return to dreamland.
It can be difficult to avoid an overtired baby, especially during the summer months, around holidays and while traveling. Allowing your baby to get one quality nap each day can really be beneficial. This nap should not be in the car or stroller and should be for at least 1 hour. You will find that the effort to sneak in these little periods of rest will be well worth it in the days to come.

Top Ten reasons you may need a Sleep Expert

Top Ten - 

1. Your toddler says goodnight and you are the one going to bed.

2. You find yourself on the Elmo potty at 3am because you're afraid to leave your kid's room.

3. Your husband has found you crying on the bathroom floor 3 out of the past 4 nights.

4. You tell people that your baby just doesn't need alot of sleep.

5. You have brought your baby into your bed so often that now when you go in to get him he's ready with an overnight bag.

6. You do an army crawl out of your baby's room so you are sure not to step on the creaky floor boards.

7.You are so exhausted from nighttime feedings your husband is wearing one of these...

8.3 min, 5 min, 10 min and 12 min intervals means something to you.

9. The Master Bedroom is referred to as "Daddy's Room" by your kids.

And last but certainly not least...
10. You would rather sleep than do ANYTHING else.

Bedtime Battles

It seems that so many parents think that hating sleep is just a normal part of being a baby. Well, this is definitely not true!! Babies and toddlers can learn to appreciate the quiet and relaxation that comes with bedtime just as adults do. When a baby feel as though they are going to a  safe, comfortable and happy place, they enjoy to go up to their little nest. Their friends are there, and they are exhausted, to them it feels as though they have been playing for days even if they just got up two hours ago.
I find that when a child's room becomes a place of punishment  that is when they to do not get the chance to focus on the good and become overwhelmed by the bad. When a sleep space is used in a threatening tone such as, " if you don't behave you will go to bed early," how is a kid ever supposed to associate their room with happiness and a sense of calm, and surprisingly that idea stays with them for years.
 Even an infant is able to understand the fact that when they are getting into trouble or they are exploring a little too much they are put into their crib like it is a  pen, but at bedtime they are supposed to embrace this place??
 I am the disciplinarian in my home but one thing I can tell you is that I have never sent my kids to their room or bed early as a punishment, and when they are ready, my kids grab their blankies, Gus gets his monkey and my daughter Olive gets her Lamb and off they go.
Bedtime does not need to be a battle.For all those mini wars we fight with our little ones' throughout the day we just need to keep their sleep space out of it. If you treat it like a sanctuary so will they.